He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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