brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am spending my child support on dildos
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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