1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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