As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
MIDGETS
????
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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