thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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