i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
