3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
