brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
