btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
