Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
