i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
