So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
