One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
