New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
