Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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