Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
