ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
