How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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