did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Found the puke drawer
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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