playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
