i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Please don't give away my fajitas
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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