Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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