Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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