So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
