Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
