Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
