He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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