do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
