I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
