We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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