Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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