We won't sleep together?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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