My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
