u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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