I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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