PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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