its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize