sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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