GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
