I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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