Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
