I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
