i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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