I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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