So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
