I'm really into asian looking animals
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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