I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I will pee on everything he values.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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