Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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