Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
