apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
