dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
