Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize