Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
