So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
