I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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