At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And then the night went full on bisexual.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
