I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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