hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
