let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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