Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
