We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
