Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I've blown a few things in my day
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
