oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
