Where is the hickey?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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