theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
