you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize