That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
