her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I understand Curling. That high.
vagina is talking i cant
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize