I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
