Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my poor anus
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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